I had a plan. I bought the baby book. I was going to fill it out with my thoughts, good or bad, even before Rylee was born. I was going to log all that essential information pertaining to Rylee's childhood. First word, when she took her first steps, first embarrassing moment she caused me in a public place, etc. A lock of hair taped down randomly that would represent her first scalping. You know, the basics. My mom can't seem to remember anything about my childhood. I won't go into how much she doesn't remember, I don't want to embarass her. It's kind of funny though, her memory just isn't there. No one in our family can figure it out. I was determined to document Rylee's life for her in great detail. I was going to be a wealth of information, knowlegde, help, the key to the riddles. I think I have stuck one pathetic post-it note in her baby book about something she did. I cannot recall at the moment what said post-it pertains to. I've been bummed about this shortcoming. I have failed my own expectations. I'm about to start really getting bummed when I have a friend say the most lovely thing to me. She says, "I hope I'm like you when I'm a mom." What?! No way did someone just associate me with what they'd want to be like. "You are so proud to be a mom Jessica. Even though I haven't been able to physically be around Rylee, I still feel like I've gotten to watch her grow up through your pictures. You take great pictures of all the fun things you do. You are a proud mama!" Well holy cow she's right! I do take tons of pictures. There are more pictures of Rylee's first year than there are of my sister, brother, and I combined from our entire childhood. Seriously, it's insane. I also try to be in the pictures instead of just taking them. Yes kids make better subjects than adults most days. Adults are self conscience and fussy about silly things that kids don't even know exist. Despite the awkwardness I feel some days about my appearance I know Rylee will appreciate the pictures of her and I someday. She'll love seeing all of us in a picture together. She'll know she's loved. She'll remember fun things we did together. Okay so I haven't produced a written encyclopedia of her early years, but I have most certainly documented her life!
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