Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The letter for today is "J"

Friday, March 27, 2009

Obviously this was written a little while before my daughter, Rylee, was born.

Thursday, August 31, 2006
Janaesaquania, Julaxis, Jaroslava, Janki, Jayquaniqua, Joachima, Juba, Junna, Jwahir

John and I are finding it particularly difficult to decide on a name for a girl that starts with a "J". We thought it'd be fun to have our whole family have names that start with "J". Now that we are seeing some of the names to pick from in baby name books and websites we are reconsidering having the baby's name start with a "J". I just don't think I could introduce my kid to my family and friends if I don't know how to pronounce the name I chose. And it wouldn't be fair for my kid to have to deal with the teasing at school just because of their name.

I'm just asking for trouble or a call from the police when my kid is in high school. "I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to come down to the station to pick up your daughter, Juba, (insert giggle here by policeman) she was caught breaking into the social security office trying to change her name, again."

Julaxis sounds like something you take to cure the hiccups.
Janki sounds like something you could catch while traveling in a rain forest.
Joachima sounds like something a drunk Chinese man is shouting behind the counter at a dry cleaning business.
Janaesaquania sounds like, well, I don't know what it sounds like because I can't pronounce it.

So anyway, I think we'll be brainstorming for a little while longer. I know we still have some time to decide but I am hoping to get the name picked out soon if I am going to get personalized Star Wars towels made up before the baby is born. These things take time! "But wait Jessica, if it's a girl are you really going down the Star Wars path? That seems like more of a boy thing than girl thing."
And I say, "There is no other path." Right honey? John, why are you rolling your eyes? You told me to put it in the blog!

Sunday, January 07, 2007
It's a waiting game.

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've written a blog. I have just been too damn tired to be honest. This has not been an easy pregnancy and I haven't wanted to bitch about it too much. Magical time my ass. This little girl growing inside of me (rather quickly now) last weighed in at six pounds and six ounces. That was a week ago. She could easily be almost seven pounds by now. She likes to stick her feet underneath my ribs. I am eager for her arrival mostly so I can have my body back. When you're not pregnant you take lots of things for granted. Tying your shoes is quite a daunting task right now. You do actually have to roll out of bed at this point. There is no jumping in the third trimester of pregnancy. There is no hopping up to answer the phone. This is when you thank the inventor of caller id. This is when you realize how amazing single mothers are. My Aunt Rita needs medals, trophies, streets named after her, etc. My husband is my best friend, but he is now another one of my heroes. His patience has absolutely floored me. Every time I look at him I wonder what I did to be so blessed. He is an amazing man.

Please don't think I am not wanting to have a baby. I am just at the stage of pregnancy when one realizes their life is about to change forever. This baby will be my responsibility for at least the next eighteen years. (The teen years are what terrify me the most.) Up to this point everything is surreal. Yea, I feel her trying to dislocate my organs one at a time, but it's bizarre to think that I have another human being inside of me. Yes, the movie "Alien" pops into my head all the time. Sometimes it feels like she is going to burst through my stomach at any moment. Strange visions of her busting out of my belly and running off while I lay helpless on the floor are frequent when she starts her Tae Bao exercises. I can hear her saying, "See ya sucker!" as she runs off into the sunset.

I have seen her move around and open her mouth when I'm having a sonogram, but I'm still watching it on a TV monitor and it remains surreal and feeling detached. I have been told that I really won't be able to wrap my head around the situation until I actually hold her in my arms for the first time. I sure hope all those mother instincts kick in like everyone tells me they will. Right now I'm missing having a cold beer at the end of a stressful day. I'm cursing the designer of grocery store layouts, those clever idiots just had to be brilliant and put the milk at the back of the store so distracted consumers would buy more. It's not the buying more that worries me right now, it's the distance to and from the milk that concerns me. Are they trying to make me go into labor in their store?

I'm hoping that when Rylee does finally get here, which should be by February 2nd, that I will be able to tell the entire world without reservation that the last nine months have been worth every ache and pain, every vomit session (including the one at the movie theater, sorry Harkins theaters!) every strange dream, every denial of chocolate ice cream (no not all pregnant women get to eat whatever they want) every migraine, every bottle of Tums consumed, every anxiety attack of wondering if I really can do this parental thing.I guess I believe in being honest about these big changes in life. I don't want to fall into some cliché trap and just repeat over and over what everyone wants to hear when they say, "You must be so excited!" Well, no, not really, not right now at least. I'm exhausted and facing the biggest change of my life. I can't really say for sure that if my pregnancy had been easier I would be more excited. I still think my personality would not be thinking of this event any differently, it needs to be taken seriously. Sure the baby shower stuff and cute clothes are tons of fun and I'm so appreciative of my friends and family blessing John and I with so many things for Rylee, but not everyday will be filled with laughter and bubbles. There are going to be rough days filled with crying and frustration, and Rylee won't understand why mommy is on the floor in the fetal position. Hopefully Rylee's therapy bill won't be too high.

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